


I'm Gonna Love You (Like I'm Gonna Lose You)

by brainstorm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, but kind of getting back together au, idek what kind of au this is, some angst and fluff and smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6087907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainstorm/pseuds/brainstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall left his home in London years ago to go back to his hometown. It wasn't his decision back then, but now that he's older, he's back in town. He was excited to get his friends back, but didn't know he'd be met with so much resistance from Liam's part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo everyone! I am back with this story that came to me out of the blue but well, here it is. I know this is kind of short but I hope you enjoy this. Leave me some feedback if you want because that makes me happy and I'll need it to finish this story!

Ah, London. How he’d missed the air of the city and the amount of people crowding the streets. He missed the city he had lived most part of his life before he was sent back to his hometown, which was good… but it wasn’t what he had grown so used to. His whole life was here. And now he was back.

What he didn’t miss, was his mother’s smothering and persistent mood and all her questions. But he’d have to deal with it, after all, she had allowed him to come back.

“I’ll be fine, mam, it’s not like I haven’t grown in this city or something,” he rolled his eyes.

“But you haven’t been here in years, I don’t want you to get lost.”

“What the- I won’t get lost, I promise. I’ll just go for a walk, it’s been a while since I’ve been here.” Seriously, Niall just wanted to go and see what has changed in the past years he’s been away.

“Alright, just make sure to let me know if you’re staying out late,” his mother nodded before walking away. At least it seemed like she was accepting the fact that he was a grown up now.

Niall didn’t even bother to change his clothes, he’s grown used to wearing sweatpants to go out now, contrary to when he was young, he dreaded to go out in them then, claiming they made him look funny. He only took his phone, wallet and keys to go out. And of course, earphones. He was a fan of walks with music in his ears.

His mother had moved after he was sent back to Mullingar, she lived now just a couple of blocks away from the center of the city, a city he had gone over and across a lot of times with his friends when they were younger. He kind of missed their house in a quiet neighbor, but it was good to be close to where all the fun was.

He had been expecting to see and catch up with his friends he had missed so much. At first he had kept contact with all of them, via text, or facebook or whatever, but as time passed, they started to grow apart and now it’s been too long since he spoke to any of them. He hoped they didn’t feel any resentment towards him.

London hadn’t changed much, which wasn’t surprising after all, it’s only been four years. Not much for a city to change but too much for friendships. Apparently.

He walked around without direction, but around places he knew already, getting lost among the sea of people that walked down the streets of London. He stopped to watch something at a window shop here and there, making a list of the things he’d like to purchase once he got a job and money of his own.

Time flew by as he reengaged in the city he had missed so much, when he realized that it’s been forever since he had something to eat. He kept walking along for another block until he found a coffee shop. It’ll have to do for now.

He took his earphones once he entered the shop, it seemed cozy enough, with nice music playing in the background. There was quite a queue to order, but he didn’t mind. He played around with his phone until it was his turn to order.

“Hi, I’d like one co- Liam!” his face went from looking at the list of coffees hanging on the wall to an excited smile when he realized who was behind the counter.

“Coffee?” Liam didn’t even seem to flinch and looked at him with a hard face.

“Um- yeah, one coffee but Liam-“

“What kind of coffee?” Liam’s face was still boring and hard.

“Expresso. Um-“

“Something to eat?” Liam asked as he typed on his computer with his finger.

“I’ll get…” Niall blinked at Liam when he moved his eyes back to Niall’s face, “forget it. I’ll just get the coffee.” Suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.

Liam nodded and he handed him the money, but even after he got his change back, he stood there, staring at the face of who had been his best friend almost his whole life.

“You’re holding up the line,” Liam told him and Niall seemed to wake up from his thoughts.

“Liam, I-“

“If you’d just move, please,” he spoke again, not a trace of any emotion in his face. What happened to him? He used to be the nicest guy he’s ever met. Niall sighed defeated and moved, letting the next person in line order.

He was handed his coffee by a girl just minutes later. He hadn’t been asked his name, but then again, Liam didn’t need to ask. He smiled politely at the girl as he sat at the first free table he found. He glanced at Liam behind the register and saw him smiling politely at a lady. Why hadn’t he got a smile? Why did Liam treat him like they’d never met before?

He decided he didn’t want to stay at the shop, so he just stood up and moved towards the door, casting a glance at Liam again, who was staring at him before he walked out of the coffee shop with a sigh. Maybe Liam just had a bad day. Or maybe he was still hurt he left all those years ago.

*

Niall felt weird and bad when he went to sleep that night, the look on Liam’s face that afternoon still on his mind had him feeling somehow uneasy. He had been so eager to see his friends again, especially Liam, who used to be his best friend. Or well, he still considered him his best friend, he made friends back in Ireland, but none as good as the guys who he had spent his childhood and teenage years in London, so naturally, he still considered them his best friends, even if he hadn’t talked to them in so long.

He fell asleep with an uneasy feeling but resolved that he’d be back at the coffee shop soon to try and talk to Liam again. Maybe he’ll get a different response this time.

*

Niall wasn’t able to make it back to the coffee shop until five days later, on Saturday. He had spent the week unpacking, helping his mum with the house and looking for a job. And also… maybe he wasn’t ready to go back and face Liam, he was scared he’d get the same response he got the last time and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that.

He found himself entering the coffee shop around the same time he did days ago, not even trying to deny to himself that it was in hopes that he’d see his (ex?) best friend again.

The day was rainy outside and the line for coffee was longer than the last time, most people probably wanting to shelter themselves from the rain with a warm beverage. It was probably not a long wait until it was his turn but it felt like an eternity to him, looking in everywhere except for whoever was at the register. But when it was his turn, he was met with a different face but. Different but not unknown.

“Hello, how may I help you to-“ the deep voice started while looking down at the screen in front of him before he looked up and the face chirped up, “Niall!” it was almost a squeal.

“Hello, Harry,” Niall smiled, honestly happy that his friend seemed happy to see him.

“Oh my God, you’re back! How- when- why-“ he started before he laughed, “what’s your order?” he changed his question.

“I’ll have an expresso and a brownie.”

“Alright,” Harry nodded and pressed his fingers to the register, “coffee’s on me. I’d give you the brownie for free too but my boss would kill me,” he chuckled.

“No, come on, mate, I’ll pay.”

“Cannot and will not do it,” Harry shook his head, “come on,” he smiled.

Niall shook his head and sighed but smiled nonetheless, handing Harry his money and then got a ticket in exchange.

“If you’re not in a hurry you can sit and we can catch up during my break in some minutes,” Harry said excitedly and Niall nodded.

“Sure,” Niall smiled, “I’ll sit somewhere.”

 

About half an hour passed until Harry approached his table and sat in front of him with an apologetic expression, “sorry, there was just so many people.”

“It’s fine. I just finished my coffee anyway,” Niall lied, he had finished it like ten minutes ago but he still stayed to talk to his friend.

“I can’t believe you’re back! Why didn’t you let us know?”

Well… he didn’t even think of that. He still thought about them as his best friends but wasn’t quite sure where they stood after so much time without talking to each other. “It was kind of in a rush, didn’t have time to think about it.”

“Are you here just to see your mum or are you staying?” Harry asked.

“I’m staying,” Niall smiled honestly, “I’m so glad, I missed it here.”

“We missed you too. Even if it’s been ages since we last time we talked. But I guess that’s life, huh?”

“Yeah…” Niall trailed off.

“You should come around tonight. See the lads. They’ll be buzzing you’re back. Oh my God, Liam will die if he sees you!”

Niall smiled slightly at that, not telling him about his recent encounter with Liam. He was more than eager to go see his friends and see if he got the chance to talk to Liam or at least be around him to find out what was that happened days ago. “Sure,” he just chose to say instead.

“Great!” Harry smiled big at him, “can’t wait for them to see you, they’ll be shocked!”

“Where should we meet?”

“You can come ‘round to ours. We live together now, Louis, Liam and me.”

“Really?” Niall asked, his expression turning into one of surprise. That was new. “And you three have actually managed not to kill each other?” he laughed.

Harry rolled his eyes at him but laughed, “Very funny. But you should know we’re doing great.”

“Seriously? Liam and Louis didn’t kill each other yet? Huh.” Niall nodded surprised and Harry laughed.

“Seriously,” he nodded, “here,” Harry leaned into the table and took a pen from his pocket and grabbed a napkin, writing something down quickly, “here’s the address. My shift finishes at eight, you should just drop by whenever you want, okay?”

“Sure, mate,” Niall nodded, folding the napkin and putting it in his pocket.

“I need to go back to work, but I’ll see you later tonight then, right?”

“’course, Harry. See you later,” he smiled and Harry stood up and so did he. They hugged briefly before they pulled apart.

“I’m really happy you’re back, mate, you’ve got no idea. This is gonna be great,” he smiled before he turned to walk away back to his work position behind the counter.

Niall left the coffee shop happy that he was going to see his friends again later, all of them together like in the old days. Liam or no Liam, he was going to make the best out of it.

*

Niall found himself waiting outside the coffee shop at eight, he decided it’ll be more fun if he’d just go to Harry’s with Harry himself.

“Niall?” Harry asked as he saw him once he exited his workplace, with normal clothes and no apron.

“Hey,” Niall smiled as he approached him.

“Couldn’t wait to see me again?” his friend asked with a smirk and wiggled his eyes.

“Shut up,” Niall laughed and shook his head, “just thought it’d be easier to walk with you,” he shrugged.

“Alright,” Harry shrugged too as he started walking, “we can catch up meanwhile.”

“Sure,” Niall nodded, “it’s been a while.”

“A while would be an understatement,” Harry snorted. “So why are you back? I mean, I’m glad, but you just came back out of the blue!”

“Well… I just missed it here, I guess. I’ve lived here my whole life, have my friends here, my mum here. And I want to do something. I don’t know what yet but I know I have more chances here in London than back home,” he shrugged. He loved that he could still talk to him freely, as if all the time they haven’t talked or seen each other hasn’t affected his relationship.

“I guess you’re right,” Harry nodded thoughtfully. “And what are you doing now? Gonna go to school or apply for a job?”

“Looking for a job. I kind of feel like I should be studying something by now but I just don’t know what to do,” he said more nonchalantly than the way he felt about the topic.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’ll find something to do. It takes some time for some people,” Harry turned to smile at him.

“Thanks, Harry,” he smiled back as they stopped at the light before crossing the street. “So you’re still studying psychology then?”

“Yeah,” his friend nodded.

“Louis? Still going strong with drama?”

“Yeah. Should’ve finished last year but you know how he is, lazy and likes a good party. Or too many parties sometimes,” he chuckled.

“I know,” Niall laughed. “And Liam?”

“Liam… well he’s changed a lot. He decided he finally wanted to be a fireman, you know?” Niall nodded, he knew all about Liam wanting to be a fireman, he’s heard it a million times when they were younger, he was surprised it took him so long to actually decide to do it. “The past years he just worked here and there, never studied. Don’t know why it took him so long, he said he was having doubts and what else. But I’m happy he came around and finally decided to do it, it’s been his dream for the longest time, you know that.”

“Yeah,” Niall nodded, he knew. He was still wondering what Harry meant about Liam having changed but he didn’t know how to ask. A couple of minutes asked before he spoke again. “So how did you decide to move all in together?”

Harry shrugged, “it just happened I guess, we didn’t really plan it. Louis had this crappy place and Liam was struggling to pay his rent and they were thinking in moving together and I just kind of… fit there, I don’t know. It’s easy to pay for rent and everything when there are three of us.”

“I’m sure it is,” Niall nodded, “it must be chaos, I can’t imagine living with you,” he joked and Harry shoved him with his shoulder and a ‘heeey’ that made him laugh. “But seriously, it must be so cool.”

“Yeah, it kind of is. I mean we do have a lot of arguments cause living with other people isn’t easy but we manage without killing each other I guess.”

“I’d love to see that.”

“Well you’re about to because we’re here,” Harry smiled, taking his keys out of his pocket. Niall wasn’t even paying attention to where they were walking and was surprised it was such a short walk from the coffee shop.

“Can we use the lift or should we take the stairs?” Harry asked him, remembering that Niall didn’t manage well in too closed spaces.

“What floor is it?”

“Third.”

“We can take the lift then,” Niall shrugged and Harry nodded, “thanks.”

“No problem,” Harry smiled at him.

Niall was excited to see his friends back and see how much they’ve changed and how their dynamic was going to be from now on. He hoped Liam didn’t hate him.

“Are the rest of the boys in now or are they working now?”

“They’re usually home at this time already. They’ll be so happy to see you, I know it already,” Harry said excited, not really looking at Niall.

They got off the lift moments later and Niall felt like he was going to jump off his skin from excitement.

“Oi! Get off me you bloody asshole!” he could hear Louis’ voice come from inside the flat as Harry turned the key inside the locker. Niall smiled to himself when he heard the voice.

“Hey, lads!” Harry yelled as he entered the flat, “look who I brought!” he beamed at his flat mates who went completely silent for a second and their eyes went wide. They were in the weirdest position, Liam wearing only his boxer shorts climbed on top of Louis on the sofa, trying to reach for a phone on Louis’ hand that was extended, probably his phone that the other lad had stolen.

_“Nialler?!”_ Louis voice was so loud the whole city could probably have heard him.

“The one and only,” Niall beamed at him and Louis dropped the phone he was holding on the sofa, pushing Liam off himself and making him fall to the floor ungraciously.

“Holy _fuck!_ ” Louis exclaimed, “you’re back! But how- why- when- oh my God!” Louis was suddenly hugging him so hard he couldn’t move, let alone breath.

Niall managed a choked laugh and tried to push Louis away, “Tommo- can’t breathe,” he choked out and Louis let him go.

“What are you doing here? Are you here to stay? God, Niall, it’s been forever!”

“I know,” he smiled, “but I’m here to stay.”

“Great!” Louis exclaimed, “can’t wait until we all go partying together, it’s gonna be ace,” he clasped his hands together and Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Where’s Liam?” Harry looked around with a slight frown.

“Probably went to put some clothes on,” Louis laughed.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Liam re entered the room, now wearing a shirt and sweatpants. Niall could see his expression, soft smile on his face but didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Hi, Nialler,” he said as he hugged him, wrapping his arms lightly around his middle before he let go a moment later.

“That’s it?” Louis asked, “your best friend since ever comes back after years and that’s all the greeting he gets?”

“Um,” Liam blinked, “sorry?”

“I swear to God, you’re the weirdest, Payno,” Louis rolled his eyes at him. “You staying for dinner, Nialler? We’ve got lots to catch up!”

“Sure,” he shrugged, “if that’s okay with you.”

“’course it is! You could say you’re moving with us tomorrow and we’ll be okay,” he laughed.

“Can I move in here?” Niall raised an eyebrow.

“If you don’t mind sleeping on the couch or sharing someone’s bed,” Louis shrugged.

“You can share with me, Niall, I don’t mind,” Harry smiled.

“Thanks, Harry. But I think I’ll still stay home for a while.”

“How’s Maura? I haven’t seen her in ages!” Louis asked and then they all moved to the sofas to sit and chat for a bit.

They spent some time just chatting, Niall told them about his life back in Mullingar, that he used to work with his dad but it was never too entertaining. He got to meet some friends of the family that he hadn’t seen since he was too young to even remember. His life there was okay… but not quite the same and exciting as it was in London, and that’s how he wanted it to be. He pondered during months about telling his dad that he wanted to go back to England, because even thought he loved his small hometown, he wanted to do stuff he wouldn’t be able to do there. And his father was understanding, saying that if he felt that was the right thing to do, to go ahead. So a few weeks after that, after speaking to his mum, he was back in town.

“Tonight’s tacos night,” Louis spoke at one point, “you staying?”

“You know I’m always up for food,” Niall laughed.

He texted his mum to let him know he was staying with his friends for dinner, just to let her know he was still alive.

“Payno, you okay, mate? You’ve been awfully quiet,” Louis looked at him with actual worry in his face.

“I’m good,” Liam smiled at him.

“Is it something to do with that bird of yours?”

“For the thousand time, Louis, she’s not-“

“A bird, I know,” Louis laughed, “would you rather I called her your girlfriend?”

“No.” And the answer was out so fast and sure that it threw them both aback.

“Well, but she’s your _something,_ right? Fuck buddy, is that okay?”

“No. Louis, just- stop. Okay?”

“Alright.” Louis nodded but looked at him in a way Niall couldn’t quite understand. Louis might like to push your limits, but he knew when to stop.

“Come on, come sit next to Niall, I’m sure you missed him the most out of all of us,” Harry spoke this time, standing up from his spot on the sofa next to Niall.

“I’m good, you can sit next to him-“ Liam started but Harry was shaking his head and pulling his arm so he’d stand up. Liam sighed almost unnoticeably and moved to sit next to Niall.

“Hey, Nialler,” Liam turned to him with a smile, this time one that Niall couldn’t quite decipher if it was fake or not. Then Liam wrapped a hand around his shoulders. Now Niall was beyond confused.

“Alright, Harry and I will go order the tacos and all, we’ll give you too your space, best friends need to catch up and all that,” Louis spoke and made a gesture with his hand before going further into the flat, Harry right behind him.

Liam let go of Niall as soon as both boys disappeared out of sight and pushed himself away from it; Niall hoped his face wasn’t showing as much as hurt as he felt.

“What’s going on?” Niall asked him, but Liam was typing something in his phone, not even looking at him. He didn’t get a response so after a few moments he decided to try again, “Liam, what’s wrong?” he said, his voice a tiny bit softer this time.

“You know what,” Liam turned to look at him for a moment before he stood up and started walking away, presumably to his room.

“Liam, don’t-“

“Not now, Niall.”

 

The rest of the night went by smooth, Liam was good at playing like nothing was happening, and Niall was trying his best to ignore the feeling in his chest, but choosing to concentrate on whatever his other two friends talked about.

“Are you staying over?” Harry asked, “you know you can stay.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m gonna go home.”

“Alright,” Harry shrugged, “stop by whenever.”

“I will. I’ve got nothing better to do,” he laughed.

“We’ll see you soon, Nialler!” Louis stepped forward to give him a hug. Harry then did the same and smiled. Liam though, he barely hugged him, he knew he was just doing it because his friends were there, or he would’ve just disappeared into his room and probably not even say goodbye.

“God, Liam, you’re acting like a proper douche, aren’t you?” Louis looked at him, a mix of annoyance and confusion on his face. He then turned to Niall, “just ignore him, he’s been an insufferable ass this past week, I don’t know what the hell’s going on with him.”

“It’s okay. We all go through some bad times, don’t we?” Niall shrugged with a half smiled, trying to shrugged it off.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Well, we’ll see you soon then, mate! So glad you’re back for good!” Louis went back to smiling and Niall laughed, his happiness was contagious. After that, he just turned around to exit the flat, not wanting to think about Liam or whatever. He pretty much knew what was going on with him, he just didn’t know how to confront him about it yet.

*

_It was one of those nights where Liam’s parents were out, and of course they trusted him enough to let him be alone, “invite one of the guys if you want, so you’re not alone” his mother told him. So he had invited Niall. Who else would he have invited?_

_“I brought beer!” Niall beamed at him as soon as he opened the door for him._

_“… okay?”_

_Liam knew how much Niall loved beer, something about being irish or whatever, but sometimes he had to stop him from drinking too much._

_That wasn’t that night’s occasion._

_“You’re drunk,” Niall giggled as he turned around on the bed to face Liam._

_“Am not,” Liam denied, words slurring just a tiny bit._

_“Yesssss, you are,” Niall giggled again, “but that’s okay, have some fun, Leeyummmm!”_

_“Am not drunk,” Liam pouted and Niall laughed, poking Liam’s lip with his finger._

_They fell into silence for a while and Liam had his eyes closed, Niall could hear his even breath and thought he was asleep, until he heard him talk._

_“Have you ever kissed a boy?”_

_“Hmm?” Niall asked confused._

_“Have you ever kissed a boy?” Liam repeated, his voice just a tad softer than before._

_“No,” Niall shook his head, “why?”_

_“Do you think that’s wrong?”_

_“Why?” Niall frowned even though Liam had his eyes closed and couldn’t see him, “you should kiss whoever you want, why would that be wrong?” He saw Liam give a short nod and they fell into silence again. “Do you want to kiss a boy?” he asked softly and Liam gave again a short nod, “then I say go for it.”_

_Liam opened his eyes and stared at Niall, his eyes intent and focused on the blonde’s face._

_“I only want to kiss one boy,” his expression had softened and his voice was barely a whisper._

_“Then go for it,” Niall said, and it was almost as if he knew._

_Liam casted his eyes down for a second before he moved them up again to Niall’s face. He blinked twice, their eyes never leaving each other, before he moved that small distance between them and placed his lips against Niall’s. He thought Niall would push him away, be grossed out, but quite the opposite, Niall kissed back almost instantly. They broke the kiss just seconds later._

_“Sorry,” Liam said almost embarrassed._

_“Again,” Niall said and moved closer and Liam looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “Again,” he repeated._

_Liam doubted for a second before he decided that fuck it, and put his hand on the side of Niall’s neck as he kissed him._

_They kissed a lot, but nothing else happened. They were a bit drunk, yes, but they both knew they were going to remember this the next morning. Liam knew he was going to freak out about possibly losing his best friend, but for the moment being, he pushed that thought to the back of his mind until they fell asleep._

*

A week’s gone by, Niall had been looking for a job, but in the meantime, helped his mum with hers.

Harry has told him his schedule for the week in case he wanted to stop by at the coffee shop sometime, and ‘hey, have Liam’s too, because he’d be jealous if you only go to see me’. So now he had Liam’s work schedule too. And he’s stopped by during his hours, in hopes that Liam would talk to him there because they were in public and couldn’t yell at him or whatever, he knew it was low, but he couldn’t think of anything else, but nothing happened, Liam treated him like any other customer.

That night the guys were going to Niall’s house, Maura had told him to invite them over because she hasn’t seen them in forever and couldn’t wait to see all of them reunited. So around dinner time, the three boys showed up at Niall’s front door, all smiles and looking like good boys. Niall rolled his eyes at them and let them in. Harry was carrying a small bouquet of flowers.

“These are for you, Maura,” he beamed at her. Always so charming. Niall rolled his eyes at his friend mentally.

“Oh, Harry! Always so polite. Thank you, dear!” she kissed his cheek and went to look for a vase where she could put the flowers.

The boys all sat in the living room and watched some football match that was playing while Harry, who wasn’t that even into the match, told them some ‘funny’ thing that had happened to him at class that week, but no one was really paying attention to him. A while later his mother called to have dinner.

“Homemade food!” Louis exclaimed in delight.

“I hope you like it boys,” Maura smiled at them.

“I haven’t had homemade food in forever, I am extremely thankful for this, Maura.”

“Hey,” Harry looked at him offended, dragging out the ‘e’, “I cook all the time!”

“I cook too,” Liam just threw in.

“Yeah, and that’s great and all,” Louis commented as he tried his food, making a pleased sound, “but nothing’s like a mother’s food, no offence boys.”

“Well, I gotta give that one to you,” Niall commented, “dad was awful at cooking.”

“Yeah, he was,” Maura chuckled.

The rest of the meal passed by fast and between laughs, the boys just telling Niall’s mum what they’ve been up the past years and remembering funny stories from when they were kids. Of course Maura had more of them to tell them and embarrass them that they could remember.

After dinner, she let them alone and went to her room, so the boys decided to chill for a bit. Harry insisted on doing the dishes because Maura had cooked and it’d be unfair to let her to do them later. The rest of the boys stayed in the living room doing nothing, laughing over some TV show, that’s why Harry has always been all the mum’s favorite.

When Louis stood up to go to the bathroom and get something to drink, Liam and Niall were left alone. And just as the last time, Liam took out his phone and started going through it. Niall sighed.

“Hey, Liam?” he decided that maybe if he started a conversation in which he wouldn’t ask what was wrong then Liam would stay.

Liam barely moved his eyes from his phone to Niall, with a defensive expression to them, something like ‘not now, Niall’ going unspoken.

“Harry said you’re gonna do the training to be a fireman,” he spoke and Liam nodded, his expression changing to a more normal one, “that’s cool. I know you always wanted that,” he smiled sincerely, because really, he knew that was what Liam has always wanted.

“Thanks,” Liam gave him a small smile before he stood up and walked into the kitchen, “hey, Harry, you need some help?”

Niall sighed again. He was gonna get Liam one of these days, he would.

*

Niall finally got an interview for a job the next week. It was at an office, nothing too complicated, and he wasn’t sure why they called _him_ for an interview seeing as he didn’t have any experience at paperwork, but well, he wasn’t going to complain, he wanted and needed a job.

His interview was on Wednesday, so he picked the neatest clothes he had, nothing too formal but nothing too casual either, before he headed back to the address he was given. It was actually a pretty short ride by bus.

The woman that interviewed him was an old lady that seemed sweet enough but asked him so many questions that he wasn’t sure how to answer, but he was still honest with his replies, he figured it was best to answer the truth and keep looking for a job if they didn’t call him that have an awful time trying to pretend like he knew what he was doing.

The interview lasted about an hour, maybe a bit less, and it didn’t go quite as terrible as he thought it’d be, he found himself hopeful that he might have a chance on his way back home. He even texted the boys when he got home, in that group chat that they had created that time they all got together when he first got back.

He still went around the internet looking for jobs, he didn’t want to be over confident and think he got the job and just stay sitting, but on Friday night, he got an email saying he was selected for the job, followed by a list of things such as the clothes he should be wearing, his schedule and the list of stuff he’d be doing; most of them he’d been told in the interview, but it was good to be remembered. He’d be starting his new job in two weeks, so he still had time to relax for a bit. He texted the boys telling them he’d got the job and got a bunch of smiley emojis and congratulations in return.

*

_“Hey, Li?”_

_“Hm?” Liam glanced sideways at Niall, not wanting to burn their breakfast._

_“What are we?” Niall sounded sleepy as he sat around the kitchen table, not too worried about what he had just asked._

_“Um…” Liam blinked, not sure what to answer so he stayed silent. He put their breakfast in plates and carried them to the table, sitting next to Niall. “I don’t know,” he shrugged slightly as he grabbed his fork._

_“But you’re okay with it?” Niall asked, already chewing on food, like they were just chatting about the weather._

_“I’m- yeah,” Liam nodded slowly, trying to think how to voice his thoughts aloud, “I just… let’s take it slow, yeah? If you’re okay with it, I mean,” he said the last part maybe a bit too fast and Niall chuckled, “this is new for me and I don’t want to ruin it.”_

_“You’re the cutest,” Niall chuckled again, leaning over slightly and placing a kiss on Liam’s cheek, making him blush, not sure if it was the action or the compliment._

*

It’s been a little over a month since he came back and nothing much has changed since then. He spent most time of his free weeks with his friends, doing some shopping to get some more serious clothes for when he started working and wondering what he wanted to do with his life. Somehow he felt like he was too old to start studying already, but at the same time, he didn’t want not do anything with his life.

His job was cool and chill enough, it wasn’t something extremely difficult and if there was something he didn’t know how to do, his co-workers were pretty cool and would help him. He mostly spent time organizing paper work and going from office to office.

He still spent time with the boys and went partying a couple of times. Louis and Harry were pretty cool and Louis was the best to go out. Liam though… well, he tried to keep his distance from Niall, when they were all together he’d act like nothing was wrong but whenever they were left alone, he’d just go back to not talking to him. Niall couldn’t find himself to just confront him, even in front of his friends, if that was the only way he’d get him to open up. But he knew, deep inside him, that maybe he didn’t want Liam to tell him what was going on his head because he knew, or at least he was pretty sure he knew what was happening.

But even despite of the cold treatment (that’s how he liked to call it) from Liam, he still went to the coffee shop. It was only a couple of blocks away from the office and some coffee was good during his break. His pay wasn’t exceptional but he could still afford to drink it every day. It was also cool because there was always Harry or Liam there, whenever Harry was on his shift, he’ll take a couple of minutes to chat to him, but Liam on the other hand…

When it became about a month since he’s been working, he found himself sitting on the coffee shop, sitting next to a window and just looking outside, making a mental list of all the things he needed to finish doing before he was done for the day at work. It was raining, and he had forgotten to bring an umbrella with him, which made his clothes all damp when he got to the coffee shop, but he really didn’t want to drink that thing from the office, it was awful; and also, he was just so used to going there every day.

The movement of the chair in front of him woke him from his train of thought and turned to look at Liam, who was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite read, there was something like anger but sadness in his eyes that confused him.

“Hey-“

“You need to stop coming,” Liam interrupted him. Well, that was very straightforward.

Niall didn’t say anything and just stared for a moment, blinking at Liam. “Are you willing to lose a client?” was the first thing that came to his mind when he got his ability to talk again. Liam raised an eyebrow.

“We both know you don’t come here for the coffee.”

Niall snorted, that wasn’t something Liam would say at all. “You think so high of yourself.”

Liam raised his eyebrow again before his face turned into a serious one again, then he stood up, “well, I just thought it’d save us from some uncomfortable situations and all. Anyway.” He turned to walk back but Niall stopped him by grabbing him by his wrist.

“Liam- just… what happened?” he asked softly. He knew it wasn’t the place nor the time to have this conversation but he’d take what he could have.

“You know bloody well what happened,” Liam turned to him with a harsh expression and Niall swore he could see a flash of pain in his eyes for a second before it was gone, “You left. Me.” And with that, Liam was gone, back to take order from customers, leaving Niall sitting alone again with a blank face but a feeling of guilt inside of him.

 

Sleeping was hard that night, he tossed and turned around in bed but couldn’t seem to fall asleep. He kept replying Liam’s words in his head. _You left. Me._ And he knew, he had felt awfully bad about it at the time, but somehow had managed to get over it after some time, but Liam wasn’t, apparently. He knew how he felt, because he had felt it too when he saw him again that day in the coffee shop, the way his stomach turned and his heart made a bit of a flip, but they just chose different ways to deal with it. Liam wanted his space, and he didn’t blame him for it, but so much indifference wasn’t needed. And that’s why he had been dreading asking the question, because he knew what the answer was.

He managed to fall asleep after he had come to a solution, even if he didn’t like it, he was going to leave Liam alone. It wasn’t what he needed, something in his head still told him to at least try to talk to him, but if it was what Liam wanted, it was what he’d get. If he didn’t want to talk or see Niall, then that’s what he’d get, because seeing him sad would make _him_ sad, knowing that it was all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very happy with how this came out but surprise! there will be a third chapter!

_“Ni?” Liam asked confused as he opened the front door of his house, “I thought you were on a trip to Ireland!”_

_“Well, I’m back already,” Niall beamed, “did you miss me?” he asked, stepping into the house, not even waiting for Liam to let him in._

_“ Of course I did,” Liam said._

_“Your parents home?”_

_“No. They went out to some dinner, I dunno,” Liam shrugged, “I was watching Batman, wanna join me?”_

_“Sure.”_

_They spent some time lying in Liam’s bed watching the movie, they’ve seen it a million times already, Liam loved it to death and Niall was a bit bored with it but never dared saying such a thing to him. During the hour they spent there (or whatever the time was that has passed since the movie started), Niall had been closing the space between them, and he found himself cuddling next to Liam._

_“You alright?” Liam looked down to ask, “you’re cuddlier today than the usual.”_

_“Sorry,” Niall mumbled, moving away from him._

_“No, come on,” Liam laughed, “come back. Just wanted to know if you were okay,” he explained as he moved Niall closer again, wrapping his arms around him._

_“I missed you,” Niall mumbled, cuddling closer to him._

_“You were only gone for a week!” Liam laughed, placing a kiss on top of his head, “but I missed you too, Nialler.”_

_Niall lifted his head up and rested his chin on Liam’s shoulder, smiling slightly, then tilted his head forward so his lips were brushing Liam’s ._

_“What?” Liam asked with a smile, pressing his lips to the blonde’s soflty, as if it was something natural to them. Niall didn’t say anything though, just stared at him. “Nialler?” Liam asked with a confused smiled, “what’s wrong? You’re being weird.”_

_Niall blinked, staring at Liam for a moment before launching himself at him, pressing his lips to his so hard that they almost lost balance. He had missed Liam, that was for sure, but he also had news that he didn’t know how to break to his friend. News that won’t allow him to do this anymore and he wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible._

_Liam let Niall kiss him, his hands holding him by his hips while Niall’s hands were on each side of Liam’s head._

_“Everything alright?” Liam asked, breaking the kiss, this time sounding a bit worried._

_“Mhm,” Niall only moved his face lower so he could press a kiss to Liam’s jawline before he went up again to kiss him. He could sense that Liam was beyond confused but he wanted this, needed this. He rolled his hips experimentally and Liam’s hold on his hips strengthened. He did it again, harder this time and Liam pulled apart from the kiss, squeezing his hips and looking at him._

_“Is this what you want?” he asked, slightly out of breath, lips red and swollen._

_“Yeah…”_

_“Okay,” Liam nodded slightly, like he was taking this in. “Why don’t we just…” he pulled at the hem of Niall’s shirt. The boy didn’t even answer, he just straddled Liam, disposing his shirt to somewhere on the floor before he made a move to pull from Liam’s shirt too._

_Liam got Niall off him, his fingers hooking on Niall’s jeans, looking at him and waiting for him to tell him it was okay. He didn’t know he wanted this until then, and he felt a bit nervous but comfortable nonetheless, he knew Niall wouldn’t laugh or make him feel bad. Niall wanted it as much as him, he made him realize._

_“Let’s just stay like this,” Niall said once both their pants were off and only their boxers were on._

_“Okay,” Liam mumbled, kissing him and letting the blonde lie on the bed with his back to it this time, and he positioned himself on top of him. This was new, he knew he had feelings for Niall, but he was taking it slow so none of them would get hurt._

_Niall was the one to start rocking his hips slowly, and Liam groaned, his lips kissing the other boy’s neck. He moved his hips in sync with him and at some point Niall just let his legs spread under him, making the friction so much better._

_“’s good, yeah?” Niall mumbled against the other boy’s lips, his eyes closed and cheeks pink._

_“Yeah,” Liam exhaled, “so good.”_

_And maybe Niall would’ve liked to get rid of their boxers then, but he wasn’t sure if they were ready for that. He wanted more but at the same time didn’t want to ruin it, not when he was so close to lose all of this. So he settled on just enjoying it, the feeling of Liam’s body, the way they kissed, and their inexperienced movements, because even if it felt weird it was still great. He could feel Liam was just as hard as he was through the thin layers of their boxers. The rocking of their hips was getting faster and uneven quick, their lips brushing but not kissing, they were both in need of air but couldn’t seem to get away from each other._

_Niall wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and kissed him again, for as long as the lack of air allowed him and then moved to kiss from his cheek until the spot behind his ear. Liam groaned and wrapped his arms around him, making the blonde arch his back and pressed him tighter against him and they both groaned at the pressure._

_“Back,” Liam spoke, “come back,” he moved his hand to move Niall’s face from the crook of his neck to his face again so he could kiss him and he kissed him with so much force that Niall thought his lips were going to fall._

_They came moments later, not together but almost, their breaths mixing together._

_“We’re all sticky,” Liam pulled apart and scrunched his nose._

_“Worth it though, aye?”_

_“Yeah,” Liam smiled and bended over and kissed him again. “Feel like a teenager.”_

_Niall’s eyes flew open at that and there was a moment of silence before he started laughing. “How_ old _do you think we are?”_

_“I just- I mean- ugh.” Liam pouted and Niall just laughed harder before he kissed him._

_“I really did miss you,” he whispered once he was calm again and hugged Liam._

_“Me too, Nialler, me too,” he kissed his cheek, “can we go get clean now though? I feel gross.”_

_“Yeah,” Niall smiled that soft smile from before, that smile Liam loved to see._

_“Come on,” Liam got up and walked away into the bathroom, leaving Niall alone for a moment. He sighed. He was really going to miss Liam._

*

Niall had stayed away from the coffee shop for as much as he could, mostly during the times he knew Liam was working. Harry had asked him why he stopped going so often, and he had told him that it was because he wanted to start saving for his own place, which wasn’t quite a lie, he did want to get his own place, but that wasn’t entirely the reason. And also because he wanted to spend some chilling time with his co-workers because they seemed cool and bonding was good at your work place. After that Harry had gone about how it was very important to know the people you work with, and the place and that he was okay with Niall not going too often to the coffee shop if that was the reason. Niall had smiled at him but internally rolled his eyes at his friend.

He’d only seen Liam strictly when they met up at the lads’ flat for dinner or going out. During those times Liam tried to stay away from Niall as much as possible but still kept his act around his friends. Both Liam and Niall had noticed that the other two knew something was wrong, because sometimes it seemed like they made some questions or comments on purpose, but they always found a way to laugh or shake it off. They probably thought that whatever was going on it was between them and they should be able to work it out soon. Well, they _should._

 

It was Sunday and for some reason Niall had stuck around for a while after watching a football game. He knew he had to go home soon and get his sleep or he was going to be acting like a zombie at work the next day.

He was just out of the bathroom when he noticed a bar on the doorframe of Liam’s bedroom. He frowned at it.

“It’s a pull-up bar,” Liam explained from behind him, making him jump a little in surprise.

“Cool,” Niall nodded.

“I use it when I don’t feel like going to the gym or whatever,” he shrugged, “it’s really useful.”

“I don’t think I can even make one pull up in this,” Niall snorted, it’s been forever since he worked out. “Can I give it a try?” he asked, not sure if Liam would let him.

“Be my guest,” Liam shrugged and entered his bedroom, leaving the door opened so he could use the bar. It was actually the first time since he got back that he got to see Liam’s bedroom, the boy always made sure to have his door closed whenever he was there.

He hung himself from the bar, and did one push up. He felt the muscles in his arm and upper back burning.

“This is hard as shit,” Niall said, letting his arms fall next to his body again, “I’m not doing it again.”

“Depends on how you hang from the bar,” Liam explained, approaching him, “if you do it like this, like you did,” he said, grapping the bar with the palm of his hands to himself and making a pull up, Niall couldn’t help but stare a bit at the way Liam’s biceps flexed, “it’s more difficult. Try the other way around.”

Niall eyed him like he was scared but did it, this time with his palms facing the other way and tried again. “That wasn’t that bad.”

“Told you,” Liam gave him a small smile.

Niall stood there, not sure if he should leave or if he could speak to Liam now that he was treating him like nothing was wrong between the two of them.

“So, uhm-“ Niall started.

“Please, don’t,” Liam said, eyes pleading.

“No- listen.” Niall shook his head, “your training starts this week, right? To be a firefighter, I mean.” He cleared and Liam nodded his head slowly, looking at him warily, like he was going to say something that he wouldn’t really expect. “Just wanted to say good luck. You’ll do great,” he smiled at Liam and the boy stared at him like he had grown a second head. Guess that wasn’t what Liam was expecting after all.

“Thanks,” Liam finally said and Niall gave a nod with a slight smile before he exited the room.

*

“Oi, Nialler!” Louis’ voice came from the other side of the receiver of his phone as he walked home from work.

“No need to yell, Tommo,” Niall almost had to move his phone from his ear, “what’s up?”

“Listen. Big party tomorrow, you in?”

Niall thought for a moment, it’s been a while since he’s gone partying with the lads, even since his relationship with Liam was awkward, he thought he should stay away from partying whenever he was going in case he’d say or do something embarrassing to him.

“The other lads coming too?”

“Yeah. But this is like- the party of the year, Nialler, probably won’t be seeing much of each other,” Louis laughed, “come on, you in or not?”

Niall hesitated for a moment before he decided that fuck it, if it was the party of the year, then he was going. “Sure. I’ll be there.”

“Yes! Knew you wouldn’t let me down, mate. See you tomorrow!”

Party of the year was just around the corner then.

*

_“Hi,” Liam said out of breath as soon as Niall opened the door for him, “I came as soon as I could.”_

_“Did you run here?”_

_“Well, you said it was urgent.”_

_Niall stepped aside to let Liam into his house and walked to his room silently, Liam following behind._

_“Why is everything so empty here?” Liam sounded confused as he looked around Niall’s bedroom, “are you and your mum moving?” he furrowed his brows in confusion._

_“Li, I’ve got to tell you something,” Niall mumbled and sighed as he sat on the edge of his bed._

_“Nialler?” Liam quickly sat next to him, brow furrowed in worry, “Nialler, what’s wrong?”_

_“I…” he sighed deeply, “I’m going back home, Li. Back to Ireland.” He was looking down as he said it, he couldn’t stand to look at his face._

_When a long moment passed without Liam saying anything to him, Niall lifted his eyes to look at him._

_“Liam? Please say something.”_

_“You’re… leaving?” Liam’s voice was soft and his expression confused._

_“Yeah…”_

_“When?”_

_“Tomorrow morning.”_

_Liam blinked and his face quickly turned into something like anger, “and when were you planning on telling me?”_

_“I’m sorry, Li, I-“ Niall sighed, “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I didn’t know how to tell you.”_

_“You’re leaving and you tell me hours before you do?” Liam said, voice quiet but with an edgy tone._

_“Liam, please,” Niall said, voice pleading, “we’ll still talk. I’ll come to visit. This wasn’t my decision, please. You know I wouldn’t leave you.”_

_Liam’s face seemed to soften a little at that, “you can’t leave, Niall. Not like this. What about… what about us?”_

_“What about us, Liam?” Niall shrugged with a sad face, “we were never anything.”_

_“Don’t say that. Don’t you say that to me.”_

_“But it’s the truth! We had fun, when I asked you said you wanted to take it slow and we did, but what can we do now? My parents already decided and I can’t undo this. I’m sorry I never said it. Maybe I should’ve told you how I felt- how I feel, before, and maybe it would’ve changed things.”_

_Liam didn’t need to ask what Niall was talking about. He knew, he knew because he felt the same way but has been too much of a coward to admit it. He loved Niall, he loved everything about him and everything they’ve done together, all the time they’ve spent together. But he couldn’t say it now, it wouldn’t have done anything to change the situation. “Don’t leave,” Liam hugged Niall tight to his body, “please, don’t leave, Niall, I-“_

_“I’m sorry, Li, I wish I could,” the blonde’s voice sounded defeated, “I did everything I could but still couldn’t convince them to let me stay.”_

_“Are you coming back soon?” Liam pulled away to look at Niall in the eyes._

_“I don’t know… I don’t think so.”_

_“I’m sorry, Nialler,” Liam’s voice was sad and broke a bit at the end. “I’m gonna miss you, but I can’t do this right now.” Liam stood up and looked at Niall for a moment._

_“Don’t go,” Niall whispered and touched Liam’s hand._

_“I’m sorry,” Liam said before he turned around and walked out of the room and across the house, leaving. Oh, how many times had they fought and he left like this, walking with heavy steps across the house and closing the front door with a slam that’ll always earn him a scowl from Niall’s mum later. The difference was that Niall always followed him before, either to say sorry or keep fighting while yelling. But this time Niall didn’t follow him. And this time, he closed the door quietly, knowing that it’ll be the last time he’ll do it, at least for a long time._

*

It was Saturday night and Niall was on his way to the lads’ house, he had still had dinner with his mum, he felt like he didn’t spend quite as much time as he should with her, he spent most of his time at work or with the lads. When he reached the building and was let into it by that annoying beep of the intercom, he made his way to the door of the flat where he was faced with Louis who opened the door.

“You’re here!” Louis exclaimed as he let him in. “I’ll be ready in a sec and we’ll be on our way.”

“Sure,” Niall took a seat in the couch, “where are Harry and Liam?”

“Harry was trying to convince someone to go to the party, someone from his class I think,” Louis spoke from the kitchen, “Liam’s at the gym, said he’d meet us there later.” Niall nodded even though Louis wasn’t watching him. “Liam’s taking his training very serious, like, at first I was glad he’d finally decided he wanted to go for it, you know? But now I barely see him anymore,” Louis came into the living room area again and handed Niall a bottle of beer as he took a sip from his, “I don’t know if being that extreme about it is good for him.”

“Well, you know Liam,” Niall shrugged and drank from his bottle, “maybe there’s something going on up in his head.”

“Bloody lad, I wished he’d just talk about it,” Louis shook his head and sat on the other sofa, “what’s going on with you two though? You always act weird around each other.”

Niall shrugged again, not really wanting to go into the topic at the moment, “guess we’ve changed.”

“Well, yeah, we all did, but he was weird from day one when you came back, and you were the closest when we were younger, it’s just weird.”

At that point Niall almost said that he actually saw Liam _before_ he saw Harry and him. He even considered telling Louis about everything, from like back when they were still in high school. But he decided that it’ll be a bad idea to tell him right then, when there were glass bottles near that could be thrown at him, or maybe he could just go and punch Liam (or him) in the face later in the night at the party after too much alcohol was consumed. It was just a terrible idea over all. Maybe he should tell Harry, but he’d probably give him advice that won’t be what Niall would like to hear. Maybe he should actually man the fuck up and tell both of them, just… not at the moment.

“I just hope you work it out because it makes things really awkward,” Louis added, staring at Niall. And Niall knew that it did and that his friends had noticed but he couldn’t find a way to get close enough to Liam so they could work it out. Liam had put a very tall and solid wall between the two of them.

“I’m working on it, Tommo,” he took another sip from his beer, “working on it.”

 

By the time they arrived to the party, it was already packed, but in Louis’ vocabulary, fashionably late. Niall didn’t really mind, parties were always kind of boring at the beginning when people started to arrive. The place was huge, he’ll have to ask Louis later whose party it was and if it was his house or if he’d rented the place.

They stayed together for a while at the beginning, drank a bit and chat with friends where the music wasn’t that loud. It was always like that, none of them liked to get to the party throw themselves into dancing and drinking like there was not tomorrow, they took their time to enjoy their drinks and chats before what would always end up in doing something stupid while being drunk.

“Where are Harry and Liam?”

“Don’t know. Payno texted me a while ago saying they were here already, guess we’ll have to go looking,” he shrugged.

“A drink to go?”

“Sure,” Louis shrugged, grabbing two red cups with whatever was in them.

They went around for a while, getting distracted by people and conversation and getting more drinks in the way, and it probably took them longer than they even realized but in the end they found them.

“Payno, my man!” Louis yelled and raised his cup.

“Oi, Tommo,” Liam swallowed his drink, “where you been? I thought you lied about coming!”

“How- I’ll never miss a party, you know that,” he sounded offended. “Where’s Harry?”

“I dunno,” Liam shrugged, “lost him a while ago.”

“Probably went after someone,” Louis shrugged and drank from his cup, “let’s join one of those drinking games!” he added before he already was walking somewhere else.

Niall stood there looking at Liam, who hadn’t talked to him, barely even looked at him since they found him. He knew he had some alcohol in his system but he was still aware of their situation, and he wasn’t really sure if Liam would either smile at him or punch him in the face after a couple of drinks so he’d rather let him talk first.

“Hey, Nialler,” Liam smiled and Niall smiled too, “let’s join a game, yeah?” he said and he turned to where Louis had gone too. Niall blinked for a second, realizing that Liam hadn’t glared at him or treated him indifferently. That was a good start, but also… none of them were being their sober selves, so that could be really good or an epic disaster.

They played a game in which there were various questions asked and then you had to drink if you ever done that thing. They laughed uncontrollably and one of them even spilt a drink and was threatened to death for it. Then they joined some match of beer pong, Liam and Niall played together against Louis and some other guy from one of his classes. There wasn’t any glimpse of Liam being mad or indifferent to Niall at any moment, and he even hugged him once during their game.

They decided, after maybe a few too many more shots, that it was a great time to join the mass of people dancing. There were even colored lights, Niall haven’t noticed before, whoever had organized this party, did a great job of it.

Most people dancing were holding their own cups in hand, and the boys weren’t an exception. It was mostly stupid moves and lots of laughs for a while. They were pushed around and moved by the amount of people there and somehow they had bumped into Harry. Niall had exclaimed happily when he saw him, but it was probably the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Harry was noticeable less drunk than them, but that didn’t stop him from having fun; but really, he had mostly laughed at his friends more than he had laughed with them.

At some point Niall needed a bathroom bad and disappeared into the sea of corpses that were dancing drunkenly in the room. It took him forever to find a bathroom. He was sure he had been to a toilette before but the place was damn big, okay? When he was done, he intended on joining his friends again, but had found none of them near the place they used to be moments ago, so instead he decided to join yet another game of beer pong even though he knew none of these people, but oh well, he was drunk already and they seem quite friendly.

He won the game, with a slight difference of points so he had managed to consume even more alcohol. He was going to have the hangover of the century the next day, but was having too much fun to consider it.

“Nialler!” he ran into Louis while he was wandering towards the kitchen.

“Mate, where were you? I’ve been looking for you forever!” Niall’s speech was starting to be slurred already.

“Payno was asking for you,” Louis yelled next to his ear and over the music, ignoring Niall’s question, “he’s…” he started again and then blinked, “somewhere near the DJ, I dunno,” he shrugged before he left.

Niall moved among the people dancing in the direction of the DJ, but he wasn’t able to find Liam. He wandered around for a bit before he moved closer to a door that led to some hall with doors.

“Nialler!” he turned around to find Liam only a couple of steps away from him.

“Tommo said you were looking for me,” he said.

“Yeah,” Liam stepped forward, “missed you,” he wrapped his arms around Niall’s middle and the other boy didn’t even think twice before he wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Me too,” Niall laughed, too gone to even think of the actual situation they were when they were not intoxicated.

Liam let go of him with a smile and drank from the cup he was holding, Niall just stared at him. “Want some?” he asked, offering the cup to the blonde, who only shrugged and drank. He grimaced as he swallowed the drink.

“What is this?” he made a disgusted face.

“Dunno,” Liam shrugged, “I like it though.”

“You can have it,” Niall pushed back the cup into Liam’s hands.

“Let’s dance,” Liam smiled, throwing his cup God knows where before grabbing Niall’s hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

 

At first it was dancing and laughing at someone’s odd moves and trying to imitate them, they made ridiculous moves like the ones you see in movies whenever someone is drunk. They’ve even pushed someone in the making and were threatened by a guy to start a fight for pushing his girl. Whatever.

Suddenly the music changed into something a lot slower, something that couldn’t be danced with clumsy moves and laughs over them. They both stared at each other, as if they were wondering what to do. Niall decided first by wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck and swaying them together. Liam’s hands went to wrap around the blonde’s waist and they stared at each other again until Niall started giggling and then full on laughing. Liam couldn’t help but laugh too, Niall’s laugh was contagious. Some people around them looked at them like they were crazy even through clouded with alcohol eyes.

Niall’s head was pressed against Liam’s shoulder as he laughed, his body shaking slightly from it and somehow he couldn’t stop. He lifted his face from his shoulders once the laughter had died down a bit and wad faced with a fond smile from Liam’s part. He smiled back, cheeks flushed from laughing and eyes still almost watery and then it happened, he leaned forward and kissed him.

Liam didn’t waste a second, he kissed back right away. Niall opened his mouth slightly to let Liam kiss him deeper, and they did until they had to pull apart to breathe. They stared at each other’s eyes and this time it was Liam who moved first, kissing him again, this time with more strength, Niall could feel the pressure against his lips and hands sneaking under his shirt to touch his lower back lightly.

Liam pulled away and Niall let himself be pushed until he was leaning against a wall, one of Liam’s legs between his as he kissed him. His hands were fisting Liam’s shirt.

“Fuck,” Niall gasped as Liam’s mouth went lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses down his neck and sucking at the spot where his neck and shoulder join together.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Liam spoke against his skin as he moved his neck to his ear, nibbling slightly Niall’s earlobe.

“Me too, Liam, fuck- me too,” Niall moved his hands to put on each side on Liam’s face and kiss him again, the grip of the older hands’ on Niall’s hips tightening.

The music changed again into something with a slow beat but sexier, and they couldn’t help the slow rhythm of his hips. They kept kissing like there was no tomorrow, like they needed it to keep on living and somewhere in between the loud music, someone said something like ‘get a room!’ and at the moment that sounded like the best idea ever. Suddenly, Liam’s lips weren’t pressing against Niall’s lips the blonde made a sound to complain when Liam moved away, but it was only to grab his wrist and pulled him off the wall and towards the hall.

Liam opened the first door he found and pushed Niall inside, kicking the door closed behind them. He pressed Niall against it and kissed him before he let go again, peeling himself apart from the blonde’s body and focusing on locking the door. He wrapped his arms around Niall once against and walked backwards while Niall kissed down his jack to his neck. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he sat down, taking Niall down with him, the blonde’s knees wresting on the bed on each side of Liam’s body.

Niall pulled apart from their kiss for a second to take of his shirt, Liam couldn’t help but to run his hands from Niall’s collarbones and down. Niall whispered something like ‘come on’ in an impatient tone as he pulled from the hem of Liam’s shirt and help him take it off.

After that, there wasn’t much preamble, they went back to kissing and there were curious, wandering hands roaming all over each other bodies, and it was so much better than what they remembered, they were both older and their bodies have changed. Niall was maybe a bit skinny but he had some more muscle, his skin was still soft and pale as it was years ago. Liam’s body had developed wonderfully, Niall could feel every muscle of his back when he ran his hands up and down. Niall braced himself on Liam’s arm as not to lose his balance and his bicep bulged, one of the arms around him tightening the grip. God, he wanted to bit Liam’s arm. As weird as it sounded.

Liam didn’t ask or wait before he moved his hands from his waist to the front of his jeans, unzipping and undoing the button. He barely pulled apart to look down, and seeing the tent on Niall’s boxers, didn’t even hesitate or ask before he put them down just enough to let Niall’s dick free. The blonde gasped at the cold air but a second later Liam’s hand was wrapped around him. It was still for a moment, and Liam kissed him again as he slowly started to move his hand up and down, applying that tiny bit more pressure on the head. Niall moaned and groaned against his lips and started bucking his hips into Liam’s hand. The older didn’t stop him, just kept his other arm around his for balance.

“So good,” Niall breathed out just as Liam’s pace started to quicken. He rested his forehead against Liam’s and let out a deep breath. Liam opened his eyes and looked at Niall’s face up close, his eyes closed and lips parted.

“I’ve missed this so much,” Liam breathed out and his lips brushed against Niall’s.

“Me too,” Niall mumbled, “I’ve missed you so much, Liam,” his voice was broke at the end by a moan. “Please,” he begged, letting his face fall and rest against Liam’s shoulder. And he didn’t need to be told twice, he fastened the pace of his hand until he could feel Niall’s dick pulsing in his hand and his breathe going uneven. “Fuck,” he gasped, and Liam could feel the muscles of the blonde’s body contracting before he relaxed. A long, low groan coming from his lips before he felt him coming over his fingers and against their chests.

Niall stood still, regaining his breath for a moment before he kissed Liam fiercely. “Mm, you now.”

Liam let go of Niall’s now softening dick and cleaned his hand with the sheet quickly. He wasn’t expecting anything more from Niall than what he just did to him, but after another quick kiss, Niall pushed Liam’s chest, making him fall backwards until his back was against the mattress and Niall was kissing all the way from his neck to the waistline of his jeans, barely avoiding the stains of his own cum on the boy’s chest.

Niall kneeled on the floor in between Liam’s legs before he unzipped his jeans quickly, apparently not in the mood for teasing or taking his time. He took Liam in his hand and the boy rose on the bed, supporting his body on his elbows and looking down at the blonde. Niall started to slowly move his hand up and down, keeping his eyes on Liam’s face.

Liam’s lips parted and his breathing started to pick up as Niall’s hand started to move faster and faster. “Niall,” he said in a low voice, not sure why.

“Hm?” Niall pushed himself up and pressed a kiss to Liam’s lips with a smug smile. He moved back to his previous position and kept the eye contact for a moment longer before he moved forward, his lips wrapping around the tip. He heard Liam let out a shuddering breath and seconds later a hand was grabbing his hair. He kept his hand on the base of his dick and bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks each time.

Liam’s head tilted backwards and he closed his eyes, lost in the hot pleasure of the blonde’s mouth around him. “Fuck,” he took a deep breath before he looked down at Niall, “I’ve wanted to- see you like this for so l- long,” he spoke breathlessly. Niall just hummed around him and moved his eyes back up to meet Liam for a short second.

Time passed in which the only sounds in the room were Liam’s quick breathing and the slick sounds of Niall’s mouth. Liam pulled his hair a bit, making the blonde moan around him.

“Nialler,” Liam groaned, pulling his hair a bit harder this time and Niall got it, he bobbed his head faster and hollowed his cheeks harder and let go just in time to see Liam’s abs spasm, his eyes close and mouth open in a silent moan as he came. He kept moving his hand for a moment longer until Liam moved his hand back from his hair.

Niall cleaned his hand with the sheet too as Liam tucked himself back into his boxers and they both fell on their backs to the bed. Their breathing was still going back to normal but Liam turned to his side, again supporting his weight on his elbow, and he leaned in, his free hand on Niall’s cheek as he kissed him again. Niall sighed happily and let Liam kiss him for a while until they were too tired to keep going.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Liam spoke softly and turned to look at him through lidded eyes.

“So did I,” Niall smiled softly and his eyes closed.

Liam moved up on the bed so his legs weren’t hanging off the bed anymore and moved Niall with him. The blonde didn’t protest, he just let himself be manhandled by Liam. He threw a cover over their bodies. Niall moved closer without saying anything before they let sleep take over.

*

When Niall woke up the next morning, his mouth tasted like death and his head was spinning. He felt sticky and gross and awful over all, but as a couple of seconds passed and vague memories from the previous night came back to him, he felt a sinking feeling in his gut. He was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liam just keeps fucking up, when will he get it together???

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, Liam is a dick and needs to get his shit together.


End file.
